The poor: No, they don't have a choice

I come from a couple of blogs where the issue of the poor in this country is talked about.

It started yesterday, with the story of Raj, on Shar101's blog her; and that continued with one of the replies here. Then, I found another kind soul had taken up the cry, and written about it here. I take no issue with either, but I think there is more to it than the words on those pages.

This has been a smoldering ember inside me for a while now. And it is not a new one, it is as old as I am.

I have often looked at the very, very poor, the destitute, and wondered: how can I help?

I felt that way when I was in India - I could reconcile my being able to eat and sleep and be in comfort, while they lived on the roadways, with just that one piece of dress on their backs. How could I not think myself selfish and greedy and mean to not share what I had with them?

But if you think about it, you can't, can you? So, I couldn't. I couldn't do anything about the children I saw - beautiful babies and young girls, and cheeky boys - all poor, all grimy, yet all smiling and saying, 'Sister, please... one ruppee... please... very hungry....'

But I had to walk away. We were told by the guides that we'd be mobbed if we started handing out money. And I felt god-awful about being reviled at the grimy hands pawing at my arms and pulling my blouse. It was not a good time at all.

So, sometimes, I'd give money. To salve my conscience, and help me sleep at night.

And what about food? They looked at food-gifts with disdain. They'd take it, transfer it to their left hands, and then hold out their right hands again - please, some money, please.

And perhaps there is something to that Millionaire movie's tale, eh? That there's a syndicate at work, and the money is collected and taken to some taiko; and these poor souls just live from day to day, for as long as they can be 'useful' to the cause: of filling someone's coffers with money from the bleeding hearts out there.

And then, there is Malaysia. The land of beauty, the truly Asia, the wondrous place of sun and light and beautiful people. It would seem.

But we have our poor. The destitute. The marginalised. The disenfranchised.

And that was what the posts were about: helping them.

With money?

Yes, money would solve some of their woes. For the 'now' of their problems. It would buy food, clothes, help them pay for a roof over little heads . . . the list could go on.

But what of tomorrow? What happens when the money runs out? Because it will. People read a sob-story and reach for their wallets. "How much do you want?" Let me pay my way out of feeling so bad about this!

And when the story fades, and the pictures fade - what then?

Tell another story? Use different characters? Perhaps. But if you tell the story too often, you run the risk of de-sensitising your audience. "Oh, another sob story ah? Sigh. I gave already what!"

And I positively hate it when someone snaps out his wallet and says 'I want to give 20 bucks. Who should I give it to? Here's my number - call me and let me know."

Don't you think that's arrogant? Don't you think that's too easy? Don't you think there is more that you should be doing than merely opening your wallet and throwing money at them?

The poor will always be poor. You give them money, they'll use it and come back and ask for more. That's the way it is. They don't know any better, and they don't want to do it any other way.

And you also think they shouldn't be marrying so young? Having so many children? You think they should be in school? You think they should be learning a skill?

Well, they don't think so!

Life is tough for them. If they are home they can help their mums with the kids. Dad is probably a drunk and comes home and whacks the shit out of her; then he'll jump on her and make her pregnant for the nth time. And then if the frustration and anger in him is not abated, he'll look for a girl child that he can jump on and do the same to.

Sad? Yes. But that is how it is.

So finding a boy and getting married is a big deal. It takes you away from the hell-hole. Nevermind that you're making a new one for yourself. But you don't see that far ahead. You see it is good now. You are happy, he is happy. Life is good. Now.

Years ago, I remember a class discussion. My friends and I were dissing (as teenagers, all know-it-alls, are wont to do) the poor for having so many children. I mean, they're so poor, no? Then why in hell have 10 babies???

One of my very brilliant teachers quietly said: 'That's the only entertainment they have'.

And yes, sex would be good. It would be something to share with someone else. It would be comforting. It would help release the pain and anger and sadness that is inside.

And yes, they'd have no tv, nor money for the movies.

So, yes, sex was all their is. And since they'd not be able to afford condoms.... You do the maths.

So you tell me, how would it end?

So, if we're talking 'help', part of the help would need to be educating them about their choices: you do this, you get this, your children will get that - and you can be out of here.

And for a kid to stay in school,it is more than merely providing him with schools and teachers and free books and a uniform! His home must be a good one. He must have food. He must have a place to keep his books, a place to do his homework. Heck, he must have a time to do his homework - not have to help his mum with the other kids, or go work as a dishwasher somewhere to earn a couple of bucks to supplement the family's lack-of-income.

And he must have peace of mind. And that is the hardest thing to come by. And you can't give him that with your 20 bucks. With that, you just buy him food for a day. Or worse: drink for his dad for a couple of days, man!

So, yes, it is a big problem. And yes, it will take a lot of work. Not just for Anwar or Najib or HINDRAF or the efffing MIC who doesn't do jackshit for anyone except it's balding boss!

And we're not talking just Indians here. We're talking Malays (Surprise, surprise!), Chinese (Yes, lah! Not all chinese have mercedes benz and BMWs!), and the native peoples both here on the peninsula and across the sea!

Without a concerted and sincere effort to eradicate this poverty, it is going to be here to stay. And little NGOs and small groups are just skimming the surface with their work. Yes, it is good work - but it is not moving the mountain one jot.

And it is not a 'hot' political issue. In fact, it is a hot potato! So, neither the BN nor PKR would want stray too near - for fear of burning their fingers.

The Hindraf or whatever they're calling themselves these days, are saying they're there for the Indians. Good for them. But I don't trust them. As I didn't trust the MIC, with good reason, no?

In every charity or the like, this is what happens: All the money is collected and pooled - food is bought, and clothes are bought, and books and pencils are bought. But a fat lot of it goes into the payment of the CEO's salary, and if he doesn't get one, his 'expenses; for 'reimbursement' of taxi fares, lunch for the volunteers... you get my drift?

So, like I always ask, I'm asking now: HOW MUCH of my money will actually go to this poor boy called Raj? How much will be 'administrative cost'? How much will go to pay for your lunch (the volunteer's)? How much will go towards your CEO's salary? And etc., and etc.

The sad truth? About 10% will reach Raj.

Live with that.